Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Pillow Surgery


Name: Ms. Korean Pillow
Age: 21
Weight: 1kg
Height: 66cm

Subject is roughly double the weight and body mass of an average pillow her hight. Subject suffers emotional and physical distress from both her owner and secret boyfriend (Mr. Thai Cushion) as a result of her obesity. The physical distress is primarily a result of her owner trying to beat and stomp her thin -- so that he may enjoy a comfortable nights' sleep. The emotional anguish is cased primarily by Mr. Thai Cushion who frequently cracks "fat jokes" about the subject to her face and is often found looking at thinner more "streamlined" pillows.

The subject wishes to proceed with Stuff-O-Suction so that she may enjoy the quality of life she feels she is entitled to.

One 20cm proximal incision will be to the subject's superior, posterior casing via a Box Cutter. Roughly 50% of the subject's stuffing will be extracted by hand and her casing re-alingned and secured using 3m Duct Tape. No sedation will be necessary and the subject should be able to return to regular activities immediately following the surgery.





Name: Mr. Thai Cushion
Age: 24
Weight: 4kg
Height: 200cm

Subject feels he is inadequately endowed. While he is satisfied with his length he would enjoy a greater girth. The subject suffers no physical distress but does feel emotionally distraught. According to the subject his wife (Ms. Korean Pillow) often makes subtle emotionally damaging remarks about the state of his roll at which time the subject usually retorts with a fat joke.

The subject wishes to proceed with a risky operation which involves enlarging the girth of his roll by over 200%.

As the last surgeon never bothered to stitch the subject up after his previous procedure it will not be necessary to make any further incisions. The most inferior, supine section of the subjects body will be enlarged. The procedure with be done by hand using a large, long stick to push the stuffing into the three target rolls and to compact the stuffing. Conveniently, the stuffing extracted from Ms. Korean Pillow can be used to enhance Mr. Thai Cushion's rolls. No sedation will be necessary however, the subject will remain hospitalized until a stitching specialist is able to tend to him.



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